.love at first sight...three weeks later.

One of the things I was most looking forward to in giving birth was the hormone cocktail I was promised and the "love at first sight" that so many women described. I didn't get it. 

During the pregnancy, I had a growing affection for this being inside me but I did not know her. And I was also dealing with major changes in my body and my life. Sometimes I lost sight of the fact that our Wee Bud was really in there. Sometimes it just seemed like a very big belly, swollen joints and compressed bladder. I looked forward to that day when I would finally see her face to face and fall instantly in love. 

It didn't happen that way for me. And I want to put that out there so that if you were expecting to feel that instant rush of overwhelming love and didn't, you'd know you weren't alone. 

I was exhausted and pretty drugged up by the time I finally held my daughter. And the days following were a blur. But these past few weeks of having her home, learning her, caring for her....well, I fell in love. And now my heart bursts when I hear her sigh and melts when she smiles and breaks when she cries. I cherish the sight of my husband holding her, the feel of her in my own arms as she nurses, the smell of her soft, sweaty skin. I can't get enough of this beautiful new human who somehow belongs to us. 

She's three weeks old and it is love at *every* sight.